11/26/2023
3/3/2024
3/24/2024
5/26/2024
I am always moving, (head on a swivel), forward & back, left and right, (even when seemingly not in motion I shake nonstop). The idea of remaining still never ran deep enough in my blood. Just motion, always motion (and fear).
Companion sun always near, assaulting, feeding or hiding out. A slight helping with momentum. I grip the machine, recording distance & change. The light, the dark, heat and cold. The smells, the noise. I am pacified/I am startled. The weight of my body & mind moving through the environment, awareness in constant conversation with everything around it. Little debates with subtle but often distinct differences. No narrative. What for? Most things will be forgotten or altered in time.
And so I move, forward (& back) marking my experience of being. Occasionally reminding myself that there is no reality inside this machine, only ideas and interpretation (and the mistaken ground). A shared set of boundaries that we have traveled to and beyond for decades. All this temporary understanding within me. The blue sky, natural and artificial obstacles, everything we discard or cherish, etc… And cracks, everywhere and in everything. Waiting to be experienced & interpreted.
Forward (& back)_left and right. The constant scratch of existence. One day it will all be gone leaving only a vague awareness to be found. And so I continue making small memorials to help me stay lost for a brief moment, never knowing what will become of all this. But I can't stop until it does.
I move to forget the momentum of life.
I move to fool the ending.
I move because it is all I can do to keep going.